For further effect
It is interesting what life seems to throw your way. Since I lost my house I thought how worse can it get. Well it should not be answered since the answer can be and will be worse. You think you had it now comes more your way.
So lose my house now the place I was extended a hand is letting me know, it is time to find another place to live. Here I thought had a bit more time to get it together but no it is not to be.
No more surprises I say. I cannot handle any more like this. So let me add things up. I lose the house where at least I thought I had some foundation, now the place where I thought I would get my footing is gone. Then right before this last piece the relationship I thought might be the one went bye-byes. and just spent a good bit of money registering my vehicle in another state. After all of this I am not sure about being able to make it to the end of this year for the grand finale of sorts, for the shift that is supposed to be.
I know there are more people worse off than myself but here I thought things were to turn just a bit so I would be able to help but the joke is one me, I am the one needing the help. Ha ha.
I know we have to face more and own up to things and heal the past but I guess some things don’t want the healing that you offer. I wind up moving to a place I lived about 14 yrs ago and nothing much has changed. Even the people who I thought I was to help are still the same, they haven’t changed spiritually, not really. Old ideals, old philosophy, still think they should tell the world what to do and that they will do so but the world has changed around them and they have not.
Was I ever considered part of the family, no not really. Even now there is the disconnect and annoyance even for taking up their space. Been feeling it but thought it was my own insecurities. So the intuition is getting stronger, I apparently have not figured out how to read it correctly.
Yes, it does sound like woe is me but I truly am feeling so….
Not to leave on a bad/sad note. I need to see what this is trying to tell me, other than people do not want me. It is saying that it is time to move along. Even if the message is a bit rough coming to one.