I recently got an insight that may have me understand why some people behave in such an odd manner from what they actually say, specifically family.
My family has been insisting that we are a family since our parents have passed on to the next world. Yet what they say belies what and how they do. I found it interesting that even with the insistence from themselves that they still behave in an odd manner. Maybe it is all just me and I shouldn’t trust my intuition on this, …. no can do.
I think since being other than white while having been adopted by white parents I did see both sides. But now what is coming forth from my own family is a mixture of the things I just mentioned. When things are rough you would want to believe that the so-say family would be more inclined to help out but in asking for help in minor ways when I thought it was obvious, I was not able to get much.
Then the complaint was why did I wait so long in asking for help. You can’t win. We see what we wish and if we do not connect than less is seen for who we are. They really don’t know you so they act accordingly to where they are in life. It explains who they are and what they deem important.
Then it hit me, there becomes conditions due to one’s beliefs. Yes I have questioned myself if I was in their shoes how or why I would or would not help. And understand with all of life’s experiences and what happens and how things happen you become conditional or not. I want to believe that I am the not conditional. Which makes it interesting to see where people draw the line. But the biggest problem I have run across is the truth not said, rather the lie that it becomes.
What then is the problem is what is told and then pulled back without any explanation. Family is a group who either work well together or not. Since we were adopted and not born into this family we can’t say the normal clichés.
Some show that the more they have the more they want and for the most part they seem to be able to get this to happen for them. I do not seem to have this power. I have worked on manifesting and have yet to achieve what I believe abundance can be.
So the biggest perception or prejudice in my own family is that I do not meet their status quo and since they do not see that being a thing for me that I would not be able to hold up my end so whatever help had been given is and then no more, whether there is more needed or not.
Yes I am very grateful for any and all help that has been given by them. The painful part is to realize they do not see me in or at the same level and perceive that I am a loser in their eyes. It is an interesting experience to know that if you have no wealth that family much like friends can and will fall away.
What do I take away from all of this. I want to believe that I, if asked would be able to rise above any perception and prejudice to help whether they could repay in whatever format or not. If one has it and it will not place you out of your basics then why not.
We do have to come to that point of what is important. Because if we still believe things or material is important then that is where our conditions will get considered and lines drawn before those of the people we have in our lives. and Yes it is easier to say this when you have nothing that is in the status quo. 🙂
Let me also say, those that we may not still think of as family may act and be more so than the legal definition. There are times when people surprise you and help you out more than one can anticipate as we would have done with our family. Those that took the time to get to know us are the ones that can be the most help. Like I said, this is a most interesting experience to have and I hope those around me also benefit in some way.
I do wish the family did know me more but we all choose who we wish to be around us. For those who are sensitive to the feelings of others can ‘feel’ when we are wanted or not, will respectfully honor those boundaries silently.
So try to honor oneself and BE the light and shine brightly.