As the life you knew starts falling apart, more and more comes the deadline of having to leave. You wonder what was it all for and now where do you actually go. All the logical things do not happen for you, for whatever reason you have to take much more drastic steps to go and yet I feel the drag slowing me down so much that I do not feel I am making any progress.
You do feel very alone and not supported by this world in any form. They (the new agers) say that you are never alone, we are just feeling the separateness of when we incarnate. We should not need to look outside of ourselves since we have the power within. Unlike the many that are able to channel and connect, I do not seem to have that capability. The more I seem to try the less results there seems to be. To manifest, that is a joke that is played on me. It does not respond to me. I must not have enough belief or it is focus or is it due to a blemish on my aura or other countless things that make it correct that I am unable to do any of the new agey things.
What a joke I must be for all those collectives that can gaze down on us or does one even count or register with them. So is it random or is it chance or did we actually make all these choices which we can not see any reason for them now. I thought I supposedly went through my dark night of the soul, well another joke it must be for I must have not passed that test either.
Of course this is all my doing and so i shouldn’t complain what-so-ever. If I get past this then I will let you know. From the point of the abyss there does not seem to be any so-say light at the end of any tunnel for there is no tunnel either. So ye of little faith and that seems to be me. I am not liking any of this ‘time’ of this life. It is much too sad and lonely. I am very tired.
There are no signs of how wonderful things can be. I would say new agers and the like has us wanting this stuff of the golden age and the new density where we will have all these great abilities like Jesus Christ. But of course we have to believe and hold the light and be respectful and honor each other. Now whether anyone else is doing any of that, it doesn’t matter, long as you are doing this then the world is saved.
Sounds great, more like the comic books of good and evil and the good mainly saves the day. Great, lets just read about it and write about it and perhaps you are the lucky ones that have this enough so you may advance to the next level like a video game. How many lives do you have since mine is all done. Well I should be rather happy this is the last one, we are mortal after all and we can’t last forever.
Au contraire, they are letting us know that we are infinite beings of light and that even if the physical diminish, we, our soul, is forever. How enlightening, this does not in any shape or form make how the life is played out any less densely felt. It would now make me feel more inadequate. How far can this go? Why would I punish myself for all the crap that is going on. There is no end to this madness. God, I would like some relief now. May I have enough so I don’t feel so deprived or lacking. There is no answer. No surprise there.
They still tell you, you made the choice to be here at this critical time and must endure all of this because of your own choices. Well I want to forfeit, I am so sick and tired of all the nonsense where by working hard you will never get your share. But god-forbid you give up, well then you don’t get anything. Wow I am so happy to be here, I wish we could continue this game for a while. (heavy on the sarcasm)
Yes, I am joking. I am with the people on the edge crowd, if nothing changes and I am fortunate to have survived and it is the end of this year (the pivotal year), I will have to look around and if nothing has changed then we are the stupid ones. This will be the sign that we did not make it and have to live in this crazy world that we have created. I will not be happy and will succumb to the dark. There will be no options that I will feel so this will be where things will lead.
Free choice, yeah I don’t think there is such a thing. How could it. My life surely is telling me otherwise. Soul family, well I haven’t met any of mine and there doesn’t seem to be any divine plan for me to meet mine. For those that have, I am intrigued and happy for you.
So i sound a little mad and this little ditty will have to do.
May YOU feel YOU are important in any capacity and have a knowing that you are More than enough!!!